There are probably hundreds of clichés that refer to how much we reveal about our emotional state through our eyes—and conversely how much we can know about others just by looking into their eyes. Simply put, we are seen. We are not Academy-Award winning actors (for the most part) therefore, we need to do a better job as a whole to match our words to our emotions.
What do I mean by that? I mean we need not be afraid to talk about how we feel, especially with those we care for and claim to love. Taking care of our emotional health is the best way to care for those we love most. Read that line again! How many times do you need to hear this before you truly take it to heart and change poor self-care habits? Let me put it another way, you simply cannot give when you are miserable. I mean Dr. Phil was right (at least on this point), how much fun are you to live with if you are secretly miserable?
I do believe you should try to save your eyes—namely your deep seated emotions—for those you feel safest with, AND perhaps avert your eyes when not in the presence of unconditional love and acceptance. If you are not getting the respect and reciprocal affection you feel you deserve—avert your eyes!
I can’t stop thinking of the most powerful thing I got out of the Amber Heard v. Johnny Depp trial. It may sound trivial, but I took this particular stance to heart (Disclaimer: My opinion of this trial is not the focus of this example). Johnny Depp’s lawyer touched on the reason why he had not looked in Amber Heard’s direction throughout the trial, or why he refused to look at her while sitting on the stand. His lawyer stated (and I’m paraphrasing) that Depp swore not to look in her eyes ever again after their last face to face discussion.
Now, we all have an enemy or two, or three, or ‘frenemies’ (people who claim to be our friends but are truly not), or former loves that turned into enemies—so allow me to make a small suggestion here: allow them not the privilege to look into your eyes if they are not willing or able to care for your true emotions. After all, are not one’s eyes the greatest gift to give another? Is not your time coupled with your emotions the most vulnerable thing to share?
So hold steady, hold true, and give more of yourself to those who deserve it most.
Thoughts At F___ It Forties 