Midlife Has A Forward & Rearview Mirror

The honour and the irony of the moment did not escape me. The day I sponsored my cousin’s daughter was the same time my heart felt heavy knowing my own godmother was fighting for her life due to illness. This is part of being in midlife. This is one of the saddest parts of being in my 40s.

Confirmation—as it’s often referred to—is a Catholic sacrament where the young confirmandi is old enough to choose the Catholic faith for themselves, but they are also asked to choose a sponsor to officially guide them through life. Most often it is someone outside of their immediate family, or it can be the same person who baptized them, but not necessarily. They are often referred to as godparents.

The morning of my cousin’s daughter’s confirmation I insisted on wearing jewellery that was given to me by my own godmother, as a way to honour her. As my husband passed me my jewellery I became emotional and said to him that I felt so guilty sponsoring someone that evening when my own godmother was in the hospital. He assured me it was all going to be ok. I know she would have been proud to know I was a godmother again. I remember her saying to me that she might be too old to be a sponsor when I had asked her years ago. Funny enough, I felt the same way when I was recently asked, and coincidently (or not) I am only a couple years younger than my godmother was when she sponsored me!

She was without a doubt the most generous and kind and immensely humble person I know. Those words are not nearly enough to depict her. I tell you sincerely that a lifetime is not enough to repay the love and generosity of spirit that she gave me, and taught me to give to others. She was the first person to have ever bought me a complete set of gold jewellery and gold watch. She bought me my first TV for my room! How cool was that?! My first Walkman! (All hints from my god-sisters no doubt!). Clothing and toys and chocolates and all things a little girl could ever want. She was there for every special occasion showering me with presents and hugs and so much love. My shy little “Grazie Commare” (Thanks Godmother) was all I could ever muster, but I hope she could read the joy on my face, or hear it through my voice over the telephone every Christmas morning.

Dinner parties at her house were legendary. The amount of food! The table was always set just perfectly. The house smelled dreamy as each room was filled with flowers and plants that she lovingly cared for. Cabinet glass cases displayed her cherished figurines throughout the house, without an ounce of dust on them!

Oh she loved taking care of herself too! Her hair and nails were always done just right and she wore more rings and necklaces then J-Lo, but better! She was a sun worshipper and always had beautiful glowing sun-kissed skin, even in the dead of winter! (she enjoyed travelling down south). Did I mention that I never left her house empty handed either? Always a present to unwrap, a plate of homemade cookies—and in her later years even presents for my kids (Again, thanks to some very special god-sisters who worked tirelessly behind the scenes…but I always knew).

Her home was always welcoming. Both my godmother and godfather are a blessing in my life. They love me unconditionally and wholeheartedly. Each morning I drink my ‘latte e caffè’ with the mug she bought me for Christmas in recent years. She has taught me that generosity of heart and home is the only way to be a perfect host. I aspire to be just like her!

She is and will always be my hero in a thousand ways. More than a godmother, but a mother and teacher on how to live a family centred, peace keeping, generous life. Her struggles she kept close to her heart. Never wanting to disturb a fly, and a fly she did not disturb.

News of her passing saddened me but it brought me comfort to know she will no longer suffer the ailments of the physical world. May she rest in eternal peace, surrounded by plants, flowers and everything that sparkles under the summer sun.

In the most simplest way I know how I will end this blog with a confident…

“Grazie Commare!”