Road Tripping With ‘The Costanzas’

I recently came back from a road trip with my parents. We attended a wedding in the U.S. No kids. No dog. Just my husband and my parents. Not too long ago I heard the phrase, “You don’t realize the value of a moment until it becomes a memory”. I kept this in mind as we travelled along for several hours together to reach our destination.

I adore my parents. I always say they are much nicer people than I am. It’s just a simple fact. They are so kind and genuine. Annoying as hell sometimes when they bicker worse than the Costanzas on Seinfeld, but I love them just the same.

It always amazes me how as adults we revert back to adolescence, or child-like state, when in the presence of our parents. We assume our ‘role’ within our original nuclear family unit. Have you noticed that? For example, I was the loud mouth rebel of the family. The first to wear makeup in public and the first to bring a boy home. My two sisters each had their own place in the family as well. My mother smothered us all with love through food, what else? It’s a common practice in many families, especially Italian ones like mine.

So, on this road trip I noticed my mother’s smothering ways. My uncontested passive acceptance of being fed constantly throughout the trip, followed by my teenage-like annoyed responses when it just got to be too much. Then I laughed at myself because the whole scenario suddenly became comical, but saddened me at the same time.

Although my parents are active and social people I am very much aware of their age (my father is 73 and my mother is 67). Suddenly, it was as if I missed them tremendously, even if they were sitting in the back seat making inappropriate jokes, and complaining about their ailments—seemingly competing as to who had it worse off (like the Costanzas!).

I don’t know exactly when the roles start to change but I also caught myself aware of their needs as well. I noticed their inability to walk as quickly so I would slow my pace down, or dropping them off at the front of the hotel so they wouldn’t suffer the cold as much. I too felt responsible for their well being.

Surely I am lucky enough to see this new stage in life. The honour does not escape me. My parents are aging and this road trip meant more to me than any one before it. Somehow this time together felt golden.