“I’m Just Too Tired To Care”

My empathic friends would struggle to admit this out loud. Why? Well, because they simply care too much about others and may feel embarrassed about how they really feel inside. However, if you don’t address this numbness inside—the inability to feel anything sometimes while caring for others—you run the risk of burnout which may lead to serious health issues.

I consider myself to be a sensitive person. However, I have many people in my life that I would consider to be hypersensitive to the needs of others. Empathy is the glue of society and what ensures our survival. I know you have been told that love makes the world go round, but we reserve this word for chosen few in our lives. Empathy is one of the things that prevents us from doing wrong to others. It ensures peace in our communities. We don’t have to love someone to show empathy and kindness to a stranger in need, or towards our co-worker, or even our perceived enemies.

Empaths—as they are often referred to—run the most risk of burnout and emotional, as well as physical, exhaustion. Our emotions are not separate from our bodies. Sadness and empathic exhaustion can manifest itself in physical ailments. This is why it is so important to take care of yourself first. I know it can be so hard to do for many people, but what I often end up saying is that you cannot give what you don’t have. I know you want to give more of yourself to others because the drive is there, but put all that energy into yourself and I promise that you will be able to give so much more.

If you find yourself unable to do what you normally can do in a day, or if you feel numb when helping others, or lack the energy and excitement you once had, you may be experiencing burnout from caring for others at your own expense.

The world needs you. Your family and friends need you. Be kind to them by taking excellent care of yourself. Start by taking your physical cues more seriously. Stop dismissing your fatigue. Pushing through your own pain in order to help others will not serve you in the long run. Take a break! A real break. A half day or full day of doing absolutely anything you really want to do, which could mean nothing at all! Sometimes it doesn’t have to all get done. Sometimes self care means staying in bed a little longer, or turning off your phone for a few hours. It’s not selfish, it’s self care!

If you know someone like this is your life, be there for them. Ask them how they are doing. You may be so used to them helping you out, you may even unknowingly take advantage of their caring ways because they are so reliable and drop everything to be there for you. Take the time to show them you care about their needs too. Although they seem super human, I can assure you they are beyond exhausted, and will be grateful for your help.

In short, just be an all around good human. It’s ok to take, just like it’s ok to give. Life is about finding balance, and balance isn’t always immediate. It’s a lifetime of giving and taking, so surround yourself with the very best givers. Keep that personal emotional glass full so you too can be a good giver when the need arises. Remember, the best way to be a good giver—and a grateful taker—is to start with caring for your needs first. After all, your worth and value is equal to those you care for most.