A radical idea you say? I’ll challenge that thought. Read that title again to yourself and then sit on it for a moment. Ok, now that you have wrapped your mind around this idea I’ll explain what I mean. We all have people—or animals— in our lives that we love dearly. We are social beings and therefore most of us, in some capacity or another, thrive on human interaction. So, in that sense yes we need people in our lives. However, I’m saying that you don’t need any one person because the people that we surround ourselves with every day we choose to love and include them in our lives. You don’t need any one person because YOU are a complete person all on your own.
Is it starting to make sense? You see, you are not the half of another or a part of a sum. You are perfectly complete and completely whole. Your thoughts matter and there is nothing the matter with your thoughts. Your feelings stand just as they are and cannot be dismissed or belittled by anyone because you do not need anyone to validate them. You choose to ask others for their opinion. You choose to love others as they are, just as they choose to love you as you are.
You need no one to stand in your spotlight and stay far away from anyone who wants to put you in theirs. For you are not above anyone, and no one is above you.
Allow no measure to be used to divide you from others. Least of all—for example—by your height, your skin colour, your education, where you were born or where your parents came from. Allow no one to punish you for expressing your feelings or concerns. Punishments can come in all shapes and sizes such as withholding affection, the ‘silent treatment’ or trying to convince you that you are always at fault (a.k.a. ‘gaslighting’), blocking you on social media until or unless you beg for forgiveness, or simply telling you that your tears just don’t matter. Ultimately, if they utter the words, “you will never leave me” take it as a challenge and rise above it.
You don’t need them to tell you how you should feel. YOU don’t NEED anyone. I’m going to write that again—YOU don’t NEED anyone. It has always been your choice who is in your life.
Take back that power that you gave away because you allowed someone else to dictate how you should act or feel. Don’t allow anyone to live ‘rent free’ in your head. Remember that you are enough and you have always been enough.
People who care about you and who you care about most are the only people who should be privy to your tears, your anger, your joy, and your worries—everyone else is not worthy of this privilege. Believe me when I say you don’t need any one person. It’s always and will always be your choice who you have in your life.
If someone walks away wish them well, wish them joy, and let them be. You cannot work harder than anyone else in a relationship because remember that no one is better than you and you are better than no one. So, if they choose to throw it all away then walk away knowing you did all that you could to love them equally—namely you loved them as much as you loved yourself. If you can honestly say that then live well knowing that you had a successful relationship.
Therefore, choose not to need any one person. Did I get the message across? Choose instead to love another as passionately and as equally as you love yourself (If you are second guessing that last part let me assure you, you are not a narcissist!). Choose to include deserving people in your life and simply walk away from anyone who cannot respect and adore you as much as you respect and adore yourself. Imagine if everyone did this starting today. Imagine what a world that would be…
Thoughts At F___ It Forties 