I know it’s not the official end of summer, but by the end of August the anticipation always fills me with a dull sorrowful feeling that sort of sits in the pit of my stomach. I know I still have more warm summer nights and sunny lazy days left but often times—like in many aspects of life—the expectation of having to say goodbye can be more stressful than when the actual time comes.
Anticipatory stress—fearful of the unknown—can cause a great deal of anxiety. It’s often ranked high in factors that cause anxiety because the sense of loss of control over what may or may not occur in future events can be overwhelming. Beginnings and endings are when I most often emotionally stumble. September is a very busy and transitional month for many; the back to school rush, the wrapping up of vacations, and the many work projects that begin to gear up.
Since I know September often throws me for a loop I start to feel anxious around this time. I try my best to mitigate these feelings by being prepared. I make a list of things I need for the kids to go back to school for example. I try to put all my excitable energy into preparing for what is to come—control what I know I can control—because I know those September jitter-blahs (I think I just made up a new word) are just around the corner. Paradoxically, I love the autumn with the crisp air and the gorgeous views of the landscape bursting into bright colours. Canada is truly a marvel during this time of year. Well, that’s my positive internal dialogue talking when it’s time to come to terms with saying goodbye to summer—but it really does work— most of the time.
Life is but a neverending wheel—or as my father would say, “la vita e’ tutta una ruota”. There is a season for everything we do in life. My children are becoming ever more independent, which makes me so proud of them. It’s their time to enjoy the carefreeness of childhood and my time to watch them grow and change. My daughter will be starting grade 7 in September. I cannot for the life of me wrap my brain around this reality. It seems impossible. I can still see her running out of the kindergarten doors each day with her arms held out screaming ‘Mama!’ as she catches her first glimpse of me after a long day at school. I can still see the smiles on the other parents as they too take in the glorious moment of a child so full of joy and love for her mother. Watching children grow up is one irrevocable ending after another coupled with countless fresh beginnings—September seems to shine a reminder spotlight on this tumultuous aspect of life.
So, cherish and savour the next several days. Stand in the sun and let it warm your bones and your soul. Give thanks to those who have come from near and far to visit. Smile. Exhale. Rejoice. It’s been a rough time for us all.
I’ll share you with you some of my favourite images that I took over the summertime.
Thoughts At F___ It Forties 