Book Review: SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS by Thomas Erikson

If you snoop around enough on my website you would know that I am a former psychotherapist. Some of my favourite books to read are books on psychology and biographies. I was trying to figure out one day, while online, what I should read next when this title jumped out at me—I mean who doesn’t think they are surrounded by idiots most days (especially while driving!). Ok, let me set the record straight here, this book will not confirm that you are the smartest one in the room! However, this book made me laugh so much and I told everyone I knew that this was a must read for anyone. You don’t need to know anything about psychology other than the fact that we all have different ways of viewing the same situation. The key to this book is learning to understand how best to communicate with someone who has a completely different way of viewing life in general. If you are a manager, a teacher, an administrative clerk, in customer service or work with the public in any form, trust me when I tell you this book will make life easier. When we understand people better we tend to get less irritated by their point of view and their ways of expressing themselves.

The author, in his relaxed and easy-to-read writing style, describes in great detail four main personalities and ascribed a colour to each: red, yellow, green, and blue. He points out that most people are mainly a combination of two colours, but for the sake of this conversation I’ll be sticking to the basics. For example, a strong ‘green’ personality is able to work well with others and encourages harmony and peace in the workplace and in social settings. The author describes a ‘green’ person as being patient, reliable, prudent, thoughtful, considerate but someone who can conceal their feelings. A ‘red’ personality is described as being aggressive, strong-willed, decisive, a problem-solver, an initiator, straightforward, and independent.

As I was reading this book I ascribed a person I knew personally to each colour which made it even more fun to read! I learned that in my household we are mostly ‘green’ personalities and one very strong ‘red’ personality, can you guess who? I would hope that by being an avid TAFF reader you would guess the one and only, my son, Mr. D! His constant analytical conversations and (what seems to me) combative way of expressing his opinions has rocked the calm waves that once were in my home. Oh, we love him to pieces but you get three ‘greens’ and one ‘red’ in a room and you will quickly realize how dynamics can drastically change.

“Reds just get angry. It can’t be said any clearer than that. Their temperament is such that it detonates every now and then…They don’t notice it happening themselves; screaming a little bit is just another way to communicate…Secretly he’ll be thinking that if some people are afraid of him, well, that’s just tough…Demand adult behaviour, and if he loses his temper just leave the room. It’s important that you never let him get his way just by barking his head off…Very few people have confronted him about this, meaning that the demand for calmer conversations could easily lead to even louder protests. The one thing a Red detests more than anything else is being told that he must lower his voice.”

Surrounded By Idiots, Thomas Erikson, p. 138

Page 138 is not only earmarked for me, but if I could print it off and plaster it all over my house I would! The moment I read this page I realized why I had been struggling so much with my son, whom again I love dearly but on some days…you get my point. The author, early on, clarifies his use of the pronoun ‘he’ throughout the book as a way to simplify the text, but notes that a female could easily be a ‘red’ as well.

I have to say that because of this book I now understand my son so much better. At times, I would find myself at my wits end with him. We were constantly bickering because I could not understand why everything was a competition for him and why he would not let things go for the sake of peace. I now can clearly see that his intention was not to be combative but to quite simply communicate his point of view. I don’t think that any one personality is better than the other, and the author is also careful about ensuring this message is clear to the reader. I’ve noticed that the author avoids labelling any behaviours as abusive, and also stays clear of the whole discussion on narcissistic personality disorder—although I would find it interesting to note the statistics on which colours, if any, would be more susceptible to this and other personality disorders, but that’s maybe just my professional background talking.

Overall, I think anyone would enjoy and greatly benefit from learning about the different ways we can adapt to other people. Moreover, to learn how best to converse and communicate with others that we may too easily dismiss as disagreeable solely because their communication style differs from our own.

So follow the link below and grab yourself a copy from Amazon for a quick, fun, easy read this summer, and enjoy ‘labelling’ yourself, your family, and your friends! Make sure to let me know what YOU think of this book as well.

P.S. I will never recommend any product or book on my blog that I wouldn’t recommend to my own sisters. That’s my personal promise to each of you.

Happy Reading!

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