TAFF Club: Bad Habits, Spoiled, or Simply Set In Our Ways?

It was a cool summer evening and I was sitting on the front stoop with a couple of 40 something year old gal pals (a.k.a. two cousins of mine, two out of two zillion!). They live across the street from each other. My cousin—whose house we were sitting in front of as we watched our children play ball hockey on the street—offered to make us some tea. We all accepted her kind gesture, but as soon as she went inside my other cousin jumped up and called out from the front door to her saying if she didn’t mind she preferred to run across the street to make herself a cup of tea because she liked it a particular way. Coincidently, they both returned at the same time bearing tea. As I sat there trying to extract the heat from my mug to stay warm, my cousin proceeded to explain why Twinings Earl Grey Tea and a particular organic honey, Natural Honey Farms, in her favourite (ugly) mug was her preferred way of enjoying tea. I bursted out laughing and called her out on her choice in mug (we have that kind of relationship). However, something clicked. I really wasn’t any different with my favourite tea and honey and mug (although mine is much nicer). It got me thinking…

I think at any age we may have a preference as to what we like to eat or drink, but I think when you reach a particular age any deviation from our norms seem less tolerable, maybe even more annoying. I doubt in our 20s we would have ran home just to make some tea in our favourite mug! Are we so inclined to be put off by a different tea brand, for example, just because we have the confidence to voice our likes and dislikes, or are we possibly so set in our ways that we become more infatuated with our daily habits? Could we be spoiled, by our own doings, digging our heels into the ground wanting to conform less and less as the years go by?

I don’t think there is an exact answer that fits all scenerios, but I can confidently conclude that I have become more particular as well. Maybe I just know what I want when I want it. It reminds me of that movie with Julia Roberts, Runaway Bride, where she had been in many relationships and had conformed to the likes of each partner, even down to how they preferred their eggs. So much so, that she found herself single and really didn’t know how she liked her eggs in the morning. One day she made herself eggs in all sorts of ways and tried them at the same time to figure out how she liked them. Once she discovered how she preferred to eat eggs she suddenly felt more confident to make decisions in other aspects of her life.

I think this slowly happens to many of us as the years go by. I have to say I had a ‘Runaway Bride’ moment as well during all these lockdowns. I discovered how I like my eggs (sunny-side up!), it only took me 40 some odd years! However, I can appreciate how powerful this can be in life. Your 40s are a time to get to know yourself better, discover your true essence, what makes you unique. It’s akin to dating, but the grand discoveries are more powerful and life-altering because the point of this life is just that, discovering a better version of you—with the help of others. At least that’s how I see it..

I may tease my cousin with her ugly mug, but the point to the story is she discovered what she likes, and in turn she unveiled a piece of herself, which has brought her greater joy…