When thumbing through social media I often feel like a bird on a wire, peering into other people’s captured moments through pictures or videos—never really noticed by anyone unless I like or comment on their posts, just like the bird high above, flying off when it’s time to move on. Did the bird make an impact on those below? Did I make a positive impact, or at least create an ‘aha’ moment—or more often than not a ‘she’s out to lunch’ moment with my comment? Either way, impact is the end goal. The desire to be noticed. Or else what is the point of it all? To stay connected with family and friends is the bi-product, but the gawking and the feeling of voyeurism seems to be the more prevalent result. We want to be seen and we want to see what others are doing. But are we really getting all that or is it a false sense of belonging? Are we destined to always be a loner bird on a wire?
As we prepare for another shut down in Ontario, we are forced to rely heavily on socially interacting virtually, or trying to feel normal or connected through social media apps—actually it’s encouraged by our government as a way to combat isolation and a mental breakdown. Is it working? I personally don’t think so, at least not for me. It’s more of a mental distraction, an escape goat. Truthfully, I’ve never felt more lonely. It certainly has its merits and chatting one-on-one with friends and family has been a life saver, but the desire to be in the physical presence of others outside my household continues to grow, like beating a drum that seems to be getting louder by the day, by the moment.
We have passed the one year mark of the pandemic, vaccinating our parents and elderly loved ones is well on its way, but we are still a ways away from being able to safely interact with other families, or people closer to our own age. I miss everyone in my life! I know I’m not alone and I know many people are exhausted as well. I also know I am lucky to have my immediate family members safe with me and my parents and sisters all safe in their own homes. I know I should be counting my blessings—especially today being Good Friday, a very special day in the Roman Catholic religion. However, if I have to be perfectly honest I am struggling. The struggle to continue this way of life, namely the social isolation, is now officially an uphill climb for me. Life seems robotic—an indifference has set in, maybe more of a numbness that seems to be growing in strength.
Easter is a celebration of hope, a celebration of new life. Deep down I know giving up and surrendering to the nothingness inside is not an option. Coming apart at the seams, one stitch at a time, does not mean it will all explode into tethers. Hold on a little while longer is the overall message. Ride the third wave—’we are in this together’, is the narrative. Yet we march on in parallel unison. But what defines a parallel line? They never touch, they never cross over or interact. Maybe it’s time I come off the wire and swoop down a little closer (at a safe distance of course). After all, I want to be seen and I want to be hopeful, most of all I want to be social. If social media is all I have to contend with then thankful is what I must be for now…
Thoughts At F___ It Forties 