One evening we were fortunate enough to have cheesecake, from the Cheesecake Factory, for dessert. I plated it on what I like to call ‘dessert plates’, added a dab of whip cream and a perfectly fanned out strawberry on top. I asked my kids, who are 8 and 11, if they like their fancy dessert. They asked me, “why does everything you do have to be so fancy?”. My reply was simple, “why not?”. I told them to always try to stay fancy. Enjoy the beautiful things in life. It doesn’t have to cost anything to make something look beautiful, it just takes a little effort and imagination. They both looked at me half annoyed, and maybe half disapproving. I took it as an opportunity to express a belief that is important to me—to enjoy, and see beauty, in everything you do and experience.
On the heels of International Women’s Day, and the smell of warmer spring days ahead, I wanted to reflect upon what it means to me to be a woman living in Canada in 2021, in an age where I seem to have more choices than ever before, in terms of how I want to live life and appear to the world. I recognize it’s not a perfect system, but it’s noteworthy to acknowledge that I do have the freedom to make life choices that make sense to me. I thankfully have more choices than my mother ever had. My daughter, for example, will not have to be burdened by making the choice between getting married or getting an education. She won’t have to decide between having a child or having a career. She won’t even have to feel pressured to be with anyone if that is what she chooses, or if she prefers to be with a man or a woman. She is free to make these decisions without reservation, or judgement in the eyes of the law.
We, as woman, can decide how we want to fix our hair, how we want to dress, and how we want to appear to others. There are days that sweat pants and a baggy sweater are all I want to wear—and then I have moments when a frilly dress and full make-up make me the happiest on a warm summer evening. I think it’s important to remember that these were choices not given to women in the recent past. Yes, we still have societal pressures through social media, but we are not outcasts if we choose to present to the world in our own individual styles.
Therefore, I believe ‘fancy’ is a state of mind that I often choose to be in. I can express ‘fancy’ through the clothes that I wear, the words that I use, or the food that I eat. I can eat on fine china or grab a paper plate. I can choose to ‘un-fancy’ (I think I just made up a word) whenever the mood strikes me—this is what it means to me to be a woman! I can study or work in whatever field I choose. I want my daughter to know this in her core—that she is not limited by anyone or any law, but only by the limitations of her own imagination. Moreover, I hope to also show my son that a woman is bound by no limits. She is free to choose to be whomever she wants to be, and the choice that one day a woman will make to share her life with him (should he choose to be with a woman) is the ultimate gift that woman can give him. A genuine, authentic, forthright woman is always beautiful. So find the beauty in all that you do. Stay fancy—or not, it’s always and solely your choice. Cheers!
Unapologetically Me
Thoughts At F___ It Forties 