It’s the dead of winter. It is bitterly cold out. I’m in my room listening to the ticking of the clock on my fireplace mantle as I stare into the mirror at my grey hairs creeping in—a fitting musical accompaniment to the moment. I started thinking of warmer days and the things I would like to do once this winter and this pandemic are over (other than make an overdue trip to the salon). I started thinking about some of my accomplishments in recent years and the idea of making a life chart was born. Here is a list of things I’ve done, things I regret, and things I need to do before I leave this earth. This is by no means an exhaustive list but I felt the need to take stock. Sometimes you forget about some of your unfulfilled desires. Write them down, commit to them on paper (or computer) and then act on them, either one at a time or one step at a time in the right direction. Regrets are harder to confront but if you do you will tend to not make the same mistakes again. Besides, mistakes are often just rubber bumper pads putting you back on the right path. Finally, remember the things you have done and be proud of them. Remind yourself of your successes when all you have are negative thoughts bouncing around in your head.
The Past:
Things I’ve Done
- Learned to swim about 5 years ago (I was petrified of the deep end)
- Overcame my fear of dogs
- Went back to school for my Real Estate licence (not active)—showed my kids that learning at any age is possible
- Travelled to Rome and Florence and explored on my own
- Skied for the first time
- Survived a road trip to Florida with my kids
- Sunbathed topless on a beach
Things I Regret
- One winter day while walking home from high school I saw an unknown student drop his backpack in slush and all his books fell out. As I approached I realized he had a cast on one of his arms and was scrambling to collect his belongings. I kept walking. To this day I don’t know why I didn’t stop. I learned never to walk past a stranger in need again.
- Not completing a dual law and social work degree when the opportunity arose
- Letting my fear get the best of me
- Not doing a better job at fostering a couple female friendships, and not letting them know that I miss them in my life
- Passed the opportunity to see Venice when I was only a 1.5 hour train ride away
The Future:
Things I Want To Do
- Go horseback riding
- Travel through northern Europe, namely northern Italy, Switzerland, Germany, Austria, Netherlands
- Take the Anne Frank tour in Amsterdam
- Experience New Year’s Eve in Australia
- Read more books
- Host more parties
- See the sunrise in Hawaii
- Live in Italy for a year (no place in particular) just to experience all four seasons
- Mean it when I say ‘I’m sorry’ and not just to make peace
- Be successful in my writing endeavours
“Quanti sogni nel cassetto”
(A phrase my father uttered in Italian in a nostalgic manner when I once spoke to him about some of my dreams. Loosely translated it means ‘so many dreams tucked away in a drawer’)
Do you recognize this song ?
Thoughts At F___ It Forties 